Flip Flop Atrocities

I know, I know... I've talked about footwear already, and it wasn't that long ago! But honestly, this needs to be addressed.

What is UP with platform flip flops?! Who came up with these ugly things? I am speaking specifically of the flip flops made of the cheap, foam-rubber material that look like someone cut them out of a bigger piece of foam-rubber (crap) material with a cookie cutter.  I especially hate it when they are of lighter colors, and they are either: (a) dirty; or (b) not anywhere close to their original color, as you can tell by the thong part of the flip flop.

I was hoping that these would disappear when I saw them on a rather unpleasant-looking coworker with very questionable fashion (non)'sense', but the damn things just never go away... 

Are you someone who wears platform flip flops? If so, do any of the following apply to you?

• Is it that they are 'comfortable', but give you the height you desire from heels?
  
• Do you live in an area where quality retail products are not available, and so you feel forced to buy such atrocities?
  
• Or do you think they are fashionable, and you also think I should lay off?? (If this is the case, you can just stop reading the blog, for goodness sake! Oh, and I feel sorry for you...)

If you wear them because you feel 'regular' heels aren't comfortable, please go to a higher end store than Payless (and lots of shoes on are on clearance right now!) and get a great pair of shoes (black works for almost everything), and take the time to BREAK THEM IN! I can't tell you of all the women that buy a great pair of shoes and wear them out an hour later... and complain that their feet hurt the whole night! 

Oh, and don't EVEN get me started on this ridiculousness!! (is it a flip flop? Is it a shoe? Is it UGLY??!)

Thanks for your time, and have a great day!

For Our Sake... Don't Do This!!

Hey all...

Sorry it's been a while since my last post! Hope you have been well, and have been taking note of some of the social/fashion/general minor atrocities for your own enjoyment!

As we go into the holiday weekend, I know we often throw caution to the wind as it is considered summer's 'Last Hurrah'... but DON'T decide that it's okay to wear any of the following, regardless of the occasion! 

This is really never necessary... though I am glad she is not falling out of it!

Or this: 

What exactly are these, anyways? Are they trendy and fashionable? Or are they overalls for emos? I don't see the appeal, and I think overalls are the single most unflattering item of clothing any person can wear!

This is also terrible (and if you are a friend, I am ashamed)... 

based on the concept of...

If it is warm enough to wear a swimsuit, sundress, or shorts, there is no need for ugly, furry BOOTS! 

(Uggs are hideous, but acceptable when it's cold out... I guess)

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend, everyone!

Do You Have Skeletons in Your Closet?! Or Are They In Your GIGANTIC Purse??

Okay, I admit it... I am a purse whore.  There it is.  But I will also say that I like purses for what they look like, and their value to my wardrobe... not how much of my wardrobe I can fit into it. I don't get it, really... If you have to change the diapers of someone close by (hopefully someone you know well), or maybe you're a secret agent, I can understand.  But seriously... how much stuff do you REALLY need to cart around with you at all times of the day/week/year?

One night, while out with friends at a bar, a newly single friend among us decided that he was going to find out what in the world women carry around in their 'Hefty bag sized purses'.  Two girls told him to *ahem* 'love' himself... and the last took some time to tell him what she had in there. Curious? She had lip balm, her ID and credit cards, and... her journal.  Why in the world would you bring your journal to a bar? he asked... and guess what--she didn't know why!

So, fine, you feel the need to carry a big purse--but get some sense in your head, ladies (or gentlemen, if you prefer to carry a 'manbag' or a 'murse')... If you are going to a crowded bar (or anyplace else that is crowded, really), CARRY A SMALLER PURSE! I know I speak for many when I say that we do not appreciate being hit/banged into/bounced around by your big, gigantic purses... and then you get mad at the people that were assaulted by your poor fashion choice of the evening.  

So, when you head out tonight, or any other time (say to a festival), make sure you're not carrying all your skeletons (or your journal) with you--leave them at home and admire them on your own time... we have places to go!

Do you carry a big purse? What do you carry in it?

P.S. Didn't these two start this big purse madness?  Is it to compensate for their small size (as in, 'small man, big pickup')?

Do YOU have a 'Girl'stache'?

Okay, let's all be honest... everyone has a little fuzz above their lip. Some of us are lucky to have the peach fuzz of the paler persuasion, but then there are others of us that are--shall we say, blessed?--to have darker fuzz above their lips... you could say (as a very offensive ninth-grader said to me one morning) a 'five o'clock shadow'.

Personal grooming is just that--personal.  But if you're sitting around, stroking your girl'stache, and wondering why you're spending the eighth Saturday night in a row at home alone... maybe it's time to do something about it!

There are a plethora of options out there, that range from fairly

inexpensive to wallet-breaking--bleaches, depilatories (like Nair, etc., though watch out! Those chemicals that seem so 'magical' are harsh, and they can burn your skin), waxing, laser hair removal, and even, in extreme cases, prescription creams meant to balance your hormone levels and slow the growth of facial hair.

Just don't start shaving! It may seem like a simple, fast way to rid yourself of your upper lip's crowning glory, but you will create a nightmare... and trust me, no one (or at least no one I know) wants to get stubble burn from making out with their girlfriend!

So, ladies... take care of your 'stache... whether you condition it, so it's easier to stroke during your evil moments, or you wax it off to make your upper lip radiant, it's your choice. Just be proud of the choice that you make!

Have a wonderful day.

 

Know Your Toes...

So, I was waiting for a table at a lovely restaurant for lunch today, and suddenly, I was struck by the sight of... this:

Ladies, we all get plenty of emails before the beginning of summer telling us to make sure our feet look presentable before wearing sandals for the summer, right?  (Though, where I live, sandals worn year-round, so we have to be extra diligent on the appearance of our feet here...) But alas, just as certain people should not wear certain types of clothing (i.e., a bathing suit as a shirt), maybe some people just should not wear certain types of shoes.  Not only was I disturbed by her long toes hanging over the platform of her shoe, but... well, her shoes don't fit! Can that be comfortable?

Though I suppose we can all make mistakes... she is just a mere mortal (with VERY long toes). I saw this photo from a Christian Louboutin catalog, and... the model has long toes, too!

But seriously, ladies--I know most of us love our shoes and covet others, but please... make sure your pair makes you look YOUR best.

What Not to Wear - Online Dating Edition

First dates are hard enough, right? You want to look good (but not too slutty, if you're a girl), smell good, and be interesting to the other person, and you hope your date does the same.  Online dating has double the pressure--you're meeting this person for the first time in person, and you want to make the best impression possible, and you're probably hoping that the other person resembles their profile photo... 

And so...  while having drinks with a friend of mine on Friday, a woman walked in and caught my eye... for all the wrong reasons. I looked up and stopped, mid-sentence, and looked at this woman--probably mid-40s, a little on the heavy side, brown hair... sadly, most of which was fake, as we could see where it attached to her head.  And then there was the matter of her outfit.  She was wearing a much-loved stonewashed cutoff denim skirt, which was too short, and too small... this resulted in the waistband of the skirt clinging tightly to her, just under her breasts.  With this denim skirt, she chose to wear a one-piece bathing suit with a low, scooped back.  She was fairly well-endowed, and unfortunately, this element of her outfit provided little, if any, support for her 'girls'.  She sat down on the red vinyl stool, and her skirt rode up, graciously displaying the bottom of her one-piece bathing suit. I still find myself wondering why she chose to wear a bathing suit as part of her ensemble, as opposed to a tank top, or something of that genre.

About ten minutes later, a gentleman walked in and looked around.  He came to our side of the bar and looked at the woman, then took a deep breath, and made a face.  He then tapped her on the shoulder and asked, 'Excuse me, would you happen to be _____ from (onlinedatingsite).com?'  

They spoke for some time, but he was turned away from her most of the time, and they left separately. Again, I felt sad for the woman--I'm sure she had high hopes for the night, and I don't know how she may have represented herself online, but... 

Have you gone online to find a date? How do you feel about online dating in general?

BG PSA #4 - For Safety's Sake

GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

I was driving along a 4 lane roadway today, and saw an ambulance approaching, with lights flashing and sirens blaring.  I slowed my car, got out of the left lane, and pulled off to the side of the road.  I was appalled to see some people taking advantage of the cleared roadway to continue in the left lane, slowing briefly as the ambulance had to swerve to avoid them. 

I wonder about our society as a whole when I see people do these things. One of the people that passed me had children in the car--what kind of an example is she setting for her children? And honestly, I know that all of us are always in a hurry to do something, but really? I often put myself in the shoes of the person that is in the ambulance--how would I feel if my treatment was delayed and my life was put at risk because someone was in a hurry to get somewhere?

So, please... GET OUT OF THE WAY. 

Do you get out of the way when you see emergency vehicles? 

If not, why? 

If you do, what do you think of people that do not pull over to get out of the way?

BG PSA #3 - What Not to Wear

If you think something you're wearing is too tight or too short... it probably is. Please don't wear it out in public... and if you have nothing else to wear, please stay home. People that are watching are going to feel as uncomfortable as you as they watch you pull down your shirt, pull up your pants, and otherwise shift in your clothing. It doesn't matter what size you are... 

it's more flattering to wear clothes that fit--instead of wearing the size you wish you fit into.

While we're focusing on personal style, if you have to have a Brazilian to wear your favorite low rise jeans...don't GIVE them away, THROW them away!! You're scaring all of us.

Thank you for your time and attention.

BG PSA #2 - Elevator Etiquette

Though you may be in a rush to get back to your desk and devour your Subway sandwich or fast food deliciousness, please take a moment to step back from the elevator door when it reaches your floor... if only to let the occupants out, instead of running into them as they are trying to depart, and making them drop everything on the floor, thereby increasing the time it will take for you to reach your desk and open the crinkly wrapping around your sandwich... So, take a deep breath, and a big step back. Your fellow human will appreciate it.

When did we forget this simple consideration?

Thank you for your time.

BG PSA #1 - The Quest to Get a Tan

If you are of the Caucasian Persuasion, please do not attempt to lay out and get darker than those of us that are naturally tan--it's NOT cute. 

And the bad orange spray tan doesn't look natural, either.